Movie Review: Underworld: Rise of the Lycans (2009)

NOTE: Screen Gems did not screen Underworld: Rise of the Lycans for film critics, which is the reason for the delay in publishing of this review. I saw this film at a matinee on opening day.

When I saw the first Underworld film in 2003 I was a bit disappointed. The fact vampires and werewolves were battling it out with bullets didn’t necessarily bowl me over, despite the fact Kate Beckinsale was strutting around in skin-tight patent leather the whole time. However, since its release I have come to be quite fond of the first film and even had fun with the second film thanks to its gruesome ending. Now we come to Underworld: Rise of the Lycans, which ventures back into the past to tell a story we have already heard and thus defining its demise as it embraces redundancy and never feels all that original.

Starring Rhona Mitra as Sonja, this is the story of how the Lycans (werewolves) came to break free from being slaves to the vampires oh so many years ago. Centering on Lycan leader Lucian (Michael Sheen) we watch as he falls in love with Sonja, the daughter of the big bad vampire daddy, Viktor (Bill Nighy), and the subsequent result of that love. Strangely enough, the one gimmick I now find so enjoyable about the first film is now missing and has been replaced by swords and arrows. Yup, gone are the ultraviolet and liquid silver infused bullets and welcome in the middle ages of vampire vs. werewolf battles. Boring. It’s Braveheart with a blue tint, minus the acting, directing and storytelling.

No, Underworld: Rise of the Lycans won’t be in line to receive any Best Picture Oscars despite the fact it includes award nominated British thesps such as Sheen and Nighy — as if it were expected. But to say it didn’t have a chance to be any good wouldn’t be fair either. Sword fights between vampires and werewolves still have a chance to be entertaining, that is if it wasn’t so damned redundant.

Sit back and watch as Lucian is born, enslaved, whipped, imprisoned, escapes, imprisoned, whipped and escapes. Seriously, it’s like this film was on a loop as the same things happened time and time again. Mitra’s involvement is limited to one of the corniest sex scenes you will ever see in an R-rated film and her endless arguments with daddy. This film was written as if the three screenwriters had written acts one, two and three separately but somehow managed to write the same thing. If someone had just said, “Hey, didn’t he just get whipped?” we might have ended up with a much more intriguing film on our hands.

Even as an Underworld apologist I cannot recommend this film outside of a one night rental. It isn’t an absolute travesty, but you are getting nothing new and the repetitive nature of it all only equates to about 30 minutes of seemingly original storytelling — if that. Logic is abandoned and what ultimately seems like a forced film ends up disappointing.

GRADE: C-

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