It’s double digit time. The Oracle goes for lofty prognostication air with a giant streak on the line. Five gun for the top spot, four new ones and a Snakey one. Let’s knock them off one by one. Snakes died last weekend and will do so again. One down. Idlewild will do well in per theater average but is in than 1000 theaters. How does Little Man get wide release and this doesn’t? Don’t ask me. Cruel world. How to Eat Fried Worms is in 1000 less theaters than Invincible and Beerfest which leaves only those two on the board. This means I have a 50/50 shot but here is where it gets brutal.
Beerfest and Invincible have the exact same market, guys aged 20 to 45. Invincible opens when football interest is high, right before the start of the season. Beerfest opens when interest in beer is high, which is always. Broken Lizard has internet cred but has never had a movie open strong. They are both in 2900 theaters. It’s a coin flip. I’m going with Beerfest, but I reserve the right to be really pissed off if I’m wrong.
#1 movie predicted correctly: Nine Weeks In A Row
1. Beerfest $16.0m
How did I pick it to win? I asked people I knew. They hadn’t heard of Invincible until I told them it was the “football one.” Very scientific, eh?
2. Invincible $15.7m
On the other hand guys love football. Hey guys, this one sucks. Don’t bother going to it. Yep, that’s what we call biasing the jury pool.
3. How to Eat Fried Worms $7.5m
Fried foods aren’t very good for you, and worms even less. But Moms and kids all across this great nation will line up and take two hours off from each other.
4. Talladega Nights $7.1m
Having another comedy hurts it big time. They’ve already made their money though, this is just walking around town cash.
5. World Trade Center $6.8m
Someone asked me if I knew of any chick flicks they could see and I mentioned this. I guess in hindsight it’s more of a sad flick than a chick one but I know the ladies (hello ladies) love crying.
6. Little Miss Sunshine 6.5m
You came out of nowhere this weekend but now you are on the Oracle radar. Once you are on the radar you can’t escape. I’m honed in. If you don’t make exactly this dollar amount I will launch a missile at you.
7. Snakes on a Plane $6.2
I laugh in your general direction Snakes. I guffaw around your area.
8. Idlewild $5.8m
Crazy bad this one was. Why am I talking like Yoda?
9. Barnyard $5.1m
Having another kid one hurts this one… just like the comedy thing. It’s a regular survival of the fittest around the top ten.
10. Step Up $4.9m
This one has so many fans because of the sweet dance moves that I dare not drop it from the top ten. If it doesn’t make it I want my money back from all y’all.