Box-Office Oracle: Aug 4 – Aug 6

ON

Only one winner possible, that there Nascar funny boy film.

#1 movie predicted correctly: Six Weeks In A Row

1. Talladega Nights: The Ballad of Ricky Bobby $38.3m

Everyone knows this will win. You know it. I know it. The only question is will I get close enough to win a free set of steak knives. Third place is I’m fired.

2. Miami Vice $12.7m

Vice, Vice, Vice. You really underperformed when I saw it. Michael Mann, you now owe us one. Unless you are counting Heat as two points in which case we are even.

3. The Descent $10.5m

Hey, a horror film! It’s been a while hasn’t it? When was the last one? Was it Superman Returns?

4. Pirates of the Caribbean: Dead Man’s Chest $10.3m

Pirates keeps chugging along, like the little billionaire engine that could. I knew I shouldn’t have sold the screenplay for 20 bucks. Looking back, that was an error.

5. Barnyard $9.9m

I’ve heard this is a disaster. A disaster on a farm. Run for it. Don’t see this unless they pay you big bucks. Even then demand popcorn and that no kids be allowed in too.

6. John Tucker Must Die 7.7m

A great showing for this low budget teen number. Now they can churn out a few more of them. Then Brad can review them and love on them some more.

7. The Night Listener $5.5

I’ve heard this is more of a suspense style film but it isn’t in near enough theatres. I never know how things like this work. Do people just pay theater chains off? Someone email me on this.

8. Monster House $5.1m

Did you ever watch the show Monster House where they transform a plain old house? It was way better than this. So is that C-SPAN deal too. I look for it to hit bottom and dig for oil this weekend.

9. The Any Bully $4.0m

Beat down in a blaze of glory. No one wants to see stupid animation anymore and we’re letting our dollars shout it out loud. Live free people! Actually, how dumb is it that we have three kid’s movies on the board and one comedy? When did little Ricky start dictating our lives?

10. Lady in the Water $3.2m

We caught Shyallalan riding dirty. That’s what he gets, and that’s what you get Mel Gibson, you dirty riding bastard! Monday I’ll be sailing towards Bermuda, but we’ll still recap this mug, hopefully while drinking. Peace!

The new movie book is coming, and it will be better than ever. Stay tuned. -Laremy