Box-Office Wrap Up: Feb. 17 – Feb. 19

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Eight Below won the weekend proving the old adage that kids rule world. I’d always kind of figured this because they eat for free and cry for no reason. The main point to take from Eight Below taking it home is that I couldn’t pick the number one film if it came up and slapped me in my sensitive mouth.

Let’s wrap this up like a seafood taco.

1. Eight Below $19.8m (My rank #2, $3.3m off)

I wonder which dog people related most to. Buck? White Fang? I know my favorite was Maya because she was a leader but when the chips were down she called it quits. Hey, effort is for the other guy.

2. Date Movie $18.9m (My rank #1, $.9m off)

Not enough people made it date night to give my #1 pick the top slot. Now, as we all know The Oracle will turn on a film with a quickness and this one will be no exception. I hate you Date Movie, I hate you and I hate your butt face.

3. The Pink Panther $16.5m (My rank #4, $5.0m off)

Nice staying power for the Panther. I’m man enough to admit I was wrong about this one, just like I’m man enough to admit I believe I can fly.

4. Curious George $11.2m (My rank #6, $3.5m off)

If we took all the children of the world and put them on an island until they were 18 we wouldn’t have to deal with two kid’s flicks in the top four. On the other hand who would I beat up?

5. Final Destination 3 $10.1m (My rank #5, $.3m off)

Around the critic’s circles we call it FD3. So, like, if you want to sound hep you should call it that too. Sadly, we don’t make out well with the chicks even with all these sweet acronyms.

6. Firewall $9.0m (My rank #7, $2.8m off))

If I were taking a family hostage for $100m I’d make damn sure I had some type of endurance drink. You just can’t be too careful with these big projects.

7. Freedomland $5.9m (My rank: #3, $9.2m off)

Wow, did this flick BITE it this weekend. Pretty shocking stuff… but I’ve got something for your dome, Freedom, I won’t let you down.. I will not give you up.. you got to do what you say!

8. When a Stranger Calls $4.9 (My rank: #10, $1.2m off)

Why did he call if he was in the house the whole time? Why not just murder forthwith?

9. Big Momma’s House 2 $4.4m (My rank: #9, $.1m off)

They say taupe is very soothing.

10. Nanny McPhee $3.7m (My rank: #8, $1.3m off)

The Oracle classmate of the week is Chris Waverla, all American Pimp. I pour out liquor for him every night, he’s living it up in the 10×4. We feel you Christopher, we feel you.

You can email me with my first name at the email service google owns. Choose your own adventure.

Box Office

Weekend: Sep. 27, 2018, Sep. 30, 2018

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