The Oracle has to keep on keepin’ on like the wild winds of the Serengeti. You know when it comes to judging all these newcomers I’m on point… but man they are everywhere this weekend! I tripped over a movie opening when I got out of bed this morning. Enough hyperbole, let’s open these puppies up like a big can of tuna fish.
Curious George is hella hardcore kid’s fare. That’s the buzz on the street. I do have to commend the casting of David Cross and Eugene Levy, funny cats there. Other than that what does the curious monkey really bring to the table? Notta alotta.
We’ve got a fun caper about death, Final Destination 3 all up in yo’ grill. This bad boy is directed by James “Big” Wong. He directed the first in the series which might be bad news because the sequel was superior.
Firewall and Harrison Ford are getting big big love which is nice for those in need of a Harrison Retrospective. Only one problem here guys, the movie is absolute rubbish. It’s not good. At some point this will make it tough for it to make money.
The Pink Panther has been delayed more times than my “elective enhancement surgery”. You can NOT blame a guy for being cautious. I wish Steve Martin was still the man, even more so than Harrison Ford. But the Pink Panther? Seriously? That’s what you brought to The Oracle? May your head grow with the onions, damn you to the eternal night.
So what will win this festival of average? That’s easy, the film that sucks the least. Read on for monetary illumnation.
1. Final Destination 3 $28.5m
2. Curious George $14.1m
3. When a Stranger Calls $13.2m
4. Firewall $11.9m
5. The Pink Panther $10.4m
7. Nanny Mcphee $6.0m
8. Brokeback Mountain $3.9m
9. Something New $2.8m
10. Hoodwinked $2.6
If you’d like to see a golden pig click here. If you are aching to talk to the dude send an email to the dude’s first nombre at the google mail service. All the cool kids should know it by now.