Aw what, it’s that fun time of week where I predict the weekend box office gross using something I call a “predict-o-meter”. This weekend some type of sporting event called “The Super Bowl” is taking place. This should drive down the weekend a solid 25 percent. A few new releases and a few films going wide means I’ll most likely muck it up again. We’ll all get together Monday to make fun of me and life will continue as per normal. So, to sum it all up, if you’re looking for accuracy try out Dre’s contender stuff. He’s an accurate type of fellow. The fact that he has to do copious amount of speed to keep up shouldn’t bother you in the slightest. What do you care? It’s not your body, right? Let’s take a gander at what’s opening.
When a Stranger Calls features
no one I’ve ever heard of and it wasn’t screened for press. That all adds up to the number one slot and
a terrible sequel because PG-13 Thrillers are all the rage. It all feels kind of done to me but I’ve still got
it going number one because I don’t see enough competitors.
Something New is the other official opener and I’d be lying if I told you I knew much about it. It’s a romantic comedy from a first time director that’s written by a sitcom writer. It doesn’t sound like a formula for success but I’ve been wrong before. I’ve got it rolling in at a dismal and deadly seventh.
Munich, Capote, and Good Night and Good Luck all gain a ton of theaters and will crack the top ten but I’m not going to rehash them because I’ve already reviewed two out of three. Enough postulating, let’s hit these rankings where it hurts.
1. When a Stranger Calls $19.2m
My agent said I never got a callback but I was almost certain I nailed my audition for male lead. On second thought
maybe it is time to dump my agent because he specializes in mime acts.
2. Big Momma 2 $12.4m
You know when I’m going to catch this one? Well, let’s see, does anyone know when “the quickening” is scheduled for?
3. Nanny Mcphee $7.7m
It’s getting nice buzz out there in critic land, the same type of buzz I get from a Chimay Blue Label.
4. Capote $6.4m
The movie doesn’t ever approach greatness but it certainly tackles goodness with authority. Hoffman and Keener are both acting their ankles off in it too which makes it even more desirable.
5. Munich $6.0m
I’ve officially decided to name one high school friend per column until I’m asked to stop. Annette Plano, what’s up kiddo? Have you missed me? What’s that? You haven’t thought of me for one second since graduation? Well that’s alarming. Perhaps this idea needs revisiting.
6. Brokeback Mountain $5.4m
This mother is a 1-7 favorite to win best picture. That’s a heavy favorite. For comparison’s sake Secretariat was a 1-10 favorite at Belmont 30 years ago. All that Brokeback Mountain needs is a short dude to ride it to the finish line.
7. Something New $5.2m
It’s not really something new though is it? It’s just the same ol’, same ol’, the beat goes on and all that. It’s like my road dog Vonnegut says “so it goes”. Or maybe Lou Reed was closer with that song Marky Mark remade.
8. Hoodwinked $4.5m
Does Disney buying Pixar spell doom for innovative animation? Not if the Hoodwinked boys have anything to say about it.
9. Good Night and Good Luck $3.5m
Beunas Noches y Buenas Suerte is sweeping the nation. I just wished they’d popped for color. Maybe in the sequel.
10. Annapolis $3.4
So I’ve been working on this novel for the last six months and it’s really eating me up. Not everything can be as simple as pithy one liners and shoddy predictions can it?
If you want a book full of pith click on this.
