A tiny little movie company called Disney won the weekend with The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe. Everyone and their mom saw this coming so it wasn’t too surprising. Read on for glib comments and clever analysis.
1. The Chronicles of Narnia: The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe $67.0m (My rank #1, 2.0m off)
The Wardrobe didn’t get nearly enough screen time. I heard he was a nightmare on set.
2. Syriana $12.0m (My rank #2, 3.7m off)
Syriana knocked off Potter this weekend and proved the age old maxim; a political oil film will always beat a kid’s wizard film. Always people.
3. Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire 10.3m (My rank #3, .9m off)
On the other hand Potter has grossed 244 million overall. With that kind of money they could’ve bought my eternal soul. Twice.
4. Walk the Line $5.7m (My rank #5, .2m off)
77 million overall at the box office and at least one Oscar nomination on the way for Walk the Line. I’d call that success.
5. Yours, Mine, and Ours $5.1m (My rank #6, .6m off)
Even the poster of this movie is annoying. It’s got the parents trying to hold the kids out, all the while looking exasperated. What about putting Renee in something slinky and going from there?
6. Aeon Flux $4.6m (My rank: #4, 2.4m off)
I KNOW this mofo cost more than 20 million to make. SNAP Aeon Flux Snap!
7. Just Friends $3.9 (My rank: #7, .9m off)
They should have a Just Friends challenge where they give people ten bucks and a video cam to come up with something better than this.
8. Pride and Prejudice $2.4 (My rank: #10, .5m off)
If you want to talk about losing some pride I’d like to present my prom as evidence. Super Self Burn!
9. Chicken Little $2.2m (My rank: #9, .1m off)
I could’ve been the official Chicken Little accountant with this kind of accuracy. I’m all about low variance over here.
10. Rent $2.0m (My rank: #8, .4m off)
For the record I had the top ten films correct. No, I didn’t have the order, I’m not perfect.
|The Chronicles of Narnia, The Lion, The Witch, and the Wardrobe|
|Harry Potter and the Goblet of Fire|
|Walk the Line|
|Yours, Mine, and Ours|
|Pride and Prejudice|
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