True Blood Series Finale Recap: ‘Thank You’

Well, this episode played out like a 14-year-old girl’s diary. I don’t know why I expected anything different. It was predictable and sentimental, which isn’t a bad thing for a series finale. I guess I was just hoping for a little more action.

The reason that Bill wants to speak to Sookie is because he wants her to kill him.  She could use her light ball to kill him, and to rid herself of the fae part of herself. Of course, he phrases it far more gentlemanly than that, but that is the gist. Sookie doesn’t say no, but asks him to go.

Eric has decided he has a new plan to deal with Mr. Gus: Kill him. They make Sarah drink some of Pam’s blood so they can find her, then let her go. They call Mr. Gus into the basement to tell him Sarah escaped, and Mr. Gus orders them killed. Pam and Eric are faster, and jump over the yakuza’s heads and kill them. Rather than chasing Mr. Gus, Eric sends an enormous fireball through the tunnel after him. Pam goes to find Sarah, who is eating out of a trashcan by the carousel where Eric turned Willa. She wants to be turned, and offers to go lesbian for Pam. Pam is disgusted at that thought, and is not going to turn Sarah. Meanwhile, Eric swings by Sookie’s house and quietly kills the yakuza who were there to kill her. He drives off in their little yakuza rice rocket, rocking out to J-pop techno, with a pile of bloody yakuza bodies in the backseat.

Bill goes home and sees Hoyt bringing home Jessica. The menfolk make small talk until Jessica finally brings herself to look at Bill. She does not understand his decision, but accepts it. They make amends, and Bill, seeing as how time is not on his side, asks Hoyt if he one day plans to marry Jessica. Hoyt does, and Jessica pulls Bill away, horribly embarrassed by this total “dad” thing to say. Bill just wants to know that his vampire daughter is being taken care of. Jess understands that and decides to go ask Hoyt if he was serious about one day marrying her – and asking if it can be done today.

Jessica and Hoyt throw together a beautiful last-minute wedding in the span of a few hours. Jason is the best man; Sookie is the maid of honor; Andy is the officiant; Holly and Arlene are witnesses; and Bill, of course, gives Jess away. Bridget, unsurprisingly, does not attend. It is actually a very sweet, sincere scene. During the vows, Sookie is distracted and scared because she can hear Bill’s thoughts. He is in great pain, but the prevailing thought is how much he loves Sookie.

After the wedding, Sookie advises Jason to give Bridget a chance (despite the fact that she has known her all of 45 minutes) and not be scared of the whole “girlfriend fucking” stigma – after all, they just came from Hoyt’s wedding to another woman. Then Sookie spends a lot of time “soul searching,” not so much trying to decide if she should kill Bill, but if she should remain a fairy. But she finally calls Bill and tells him to meet her at the graveyard at sundown.

Sookie has had the groundskeeper dig up Bill’s original grave and after a lot of “I love yous” and “I will never forget yous” Bill gets in his old, empty coffin. Since there was no body to bury, all it holds is a photo of him and his human daughter. He clutches it as Sookie warms up her light ball. After a minute, Sookie stops. She is not ready to give up being a fairy; that is “her truth.” She puts away the light ball, breaks off the shovel handle, and tosses it into the grave. Following after the handle, she climbs on top of Bill, asks him one more time if he is sure this is what he wants (it is) and there is another round of “I love yous.” Sookie holds the wooden stake over his chest, and he wraps his hands over hers. Together, they plunge it into his heart. I am relieved that they don’t wimp out on Bill’s death, and find a way to make it “sweet.” Like every other vampire on this show, Bill explodes into a shower of blood, drenching a sobbing Sookie. She fills in his grave, and walks out of the cemetery with her head held high.

About a year later…

Eric and Pam are doing a delightfully cheesy informercial for their New Blood. They give testimonials and tell the almost-true story of how they got it. They claim that Sarah Newlin got away, but they found a shard of glass with a few drops of her blood, and rushed it to their team of scientists to duplicate. And what they are left with is New Blood, with a completely cheesy-awesome image of Sarah on the can.

Three years after that…

Eric and Pam open the New York Stock Exchange. They are wealthy and happy. Fangtasia is open and in full swing, with Eric back on his throne. In the basement, Pam is pimping out Sarah, chained up and dressed in a white dress like a virgin waiting to be sacrificed. It now costs $100,000 for a minute to drink from Sarah’s pure blood. She has completely lost her mind, and Steve is there, gleefully haunting her for the rest of her days.

That Thanksgiving…

The whole gang meets up for Thanksgiving dinner at Sookie’s house. She is very pregnant, and while she hugs a man who we are to assume is her husband or baby-daddy, we never see a face. It’s a little corny, but whatever. Sam and Nicole come for dinner with their little girl and brand-new baby. Jason is now married to Bridget and they have three kids. Arlene is there with Keith; Lafayette is there with James; Adilyn and Wade are there, together, even though Holly and Andy are clearly married. Jessica and Hoyt are there and happy as ever.

And they all live happily ever after.

So that’s it. True Blood is over. As far as finales go, this one was fine. It pretty much ended how I expected it to end: very sappy, a little sweet, and utterly middle-of-the-road. I appreciate that they took our characters a few years into the future, so that we see where everyone ended up (even if it was that sickly-sweet happy ending). It wasn’t as good as the Six Feet Under finale (which I still hold was the best series finale ever), but it wasn’t as bad as the Dexter series finale (which was one of the worst in recent memory). It just was. And that is okay by me.

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