Review: American Horror House

However, if you happen to be in the mood for some goofy fun and, generally speaking, enjoy Syfy fare, look no further. 

Penned by Syfy veteran Anthony Ferrante (Haunted High, Leprechaun’s Revenge, Headless Horseman) and directed by Darin Scott, who helmed Dark House and co-wrote Tales from the Hood, American Horror House is a convoluted mess. It kicks off with a little girl murdering her parents in bed and immediately jumps to the present. Who they all were and when the murders occurred is unclear. 

It doesn’t take long for the next death either. A busy, flustered sorority girl (she’s just been placed on “double secret probation for neglecting the sorority) is taking a music lesson. She breaks a string on her violin and heads to a storage room to look for a replacement. Suddenly all the strings on other instruments break and tightly wrap themselves around the girl before slicing and dicing her into pieces. So she is definitely not the lead. 

Now, it is one month later, and we’re only about 10 minutes into the movie. The pacing is a little frantic at the outset, but it moves too quickly for boredom to be an issue. 

It’s Halloween Hell Night at the aforementioned sorority. The mean girl leader of the house hazes some pledges before making them steal a fraternity’s mascot (a bear costume dating to the early 1900s). The tomfoolery is a precursor to a huge Halloween party. 

Meanwhile, a private investigator is looking for the sorority girl sliced up in the beginning. He begins snooping around the house, “pervin’ and creepin’ according to the girls living in the house. 

All of this happens under the watchful eye of Ms. Margot (little nod to Black Christmas), the house mother/landlord. She’s an odd woman who claims to have the gift of sight, and her ties to the house go way back. 

American Horror House works because it does not take itself seriously and has modest ambitions. With healthy doses of sniping sorority girls and plenty of pop culture references, very often it is intentionally funny. 

The kills, which come fast and furious, are frequently over-the-top and reinforce the playful tone. It seems that the ghosts of the homicidal girl and her parents haunt the house. They start killing people and victims immediately become ghosts. Then they start killing as well, so there are a lot of dead murderers roaming the house. The kills are gory and ridiculous. The mascot shoves a beer bottle through someone’s eye. The investigator has his insides pull through his mouth. Overall the effects are good though of course when CGI is used the results are mixed.  

I’m not suggesting that American Horror House is a good horror movie or a must-see. The story is senseless, the performances are a mixed bag, and it isn’t remotely scary (the plethora of boo scares is mostly annoying). But it isn’t trying to reinvent the wheel; it’s trying to entertain you for a couple hours on a Saturday night.

Watch it with some friends if you can. Keep your expectations in check. Laugh with it, laugh at it, and have a good time. 


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